The Lighter Side
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree.
After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.
After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
The Perfect Hearing Aid
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me $4,000, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
Telling The Sex Of A Fly
A woman noticed her husband holding a fly swatter and asked, "Did you get any yet?"
"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied.
"How do you know?"
"Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."